How many times have you drawn a line? Put your foot down? Said you had reached the end of your rope? If you are anything like me – a million times. I am famous for saying this is the last chance, many, many times. I know at the time I say it, I mean it. I feel like I can’t or won’t take any more. Only to discover I will and do. I kind of remind myself of a mall cop. Stop or I will yell stop again. And I think the people in my life realize this – that they hear me say enough, but that they can keep pushing, so they ignore it. And, it goes on. So, somehow I manage to convince myself that it’s not that bad. That I can live with whatever it is. There are no consequences, there are no changes, there are no improvements. It is amazing what you can find yourself accepting and putting up with rather than saying you are done and meaning it. After all, it is easier to put up with things, no matter how bad, than make changes or stand your ground. Less confrontation, less rocking the boat. It’s the wimpy way out. Sigh, okay. So, how do I take a stand and stick by it? I find myself making extreme statements out of frustration. Ones that I could never keep. It’s like the parent stating that the kid will be grounded for the rest of their natural born life. Yeah, not going to happen. So, how do I start making it clear that I mean it? And what do I mean?
Well, I figure it’s like anything else, start small. Pick one thing I am really not willing to do, put up with, or deal with any longer. What are the options available to change it. Such as the dumping ground that is my dining room table. I hate it. I hate that everything gets dumped on there so that we have no room to eat, do homework, etc. I have said time and time again – don’t put your crap all over the table or I will throw it away. And I got a box and started throwing everything into the box and said, do something with all this stuff or I will throw it away. The box still sits. Full. I think they have come to realize that I’m not going to throw anything away. Yet, there is still more stuff all over my dining room table. All bark and no bite. Friends and family say – do it – throw it all away. My problem is, some of that stuff is important. I throw it away, I am not willing to deal with the consequences. That is probably the reason…. no – that IS the reason I don’t do it. I am afraid to deal with the consequences of my threats. So, what will happen if I throw away all the stuff? There will be anger, there will be fighting, there will be yelling. I hate all that. So, instead, I grumpy, complain, threaten…. and convince myself it is not that bad. And do nothing. So, I don’t want anger, fighting, etc. But no one is going to take me seriously if I don’t stick to my guns either. Where is the compromise? Where is something that is going to make everyone happy. But also, what is going to make them realize I am serious about it.
I honestly think it is only going to take standing my ground once or twice to make them realize I am serious. That I really will do what I say I am going to do. And maybe, just maybe I am going to have to put up with the kicking and screaming once or twice to make them realize it. Today, the dining room table – tomorrow? The world.